"Lernie and Harry"

Dr. Gottman's office smelled of verbena and saline. "Opposites attract," he said, "which invariably causes issues."

Harry's slamming fist nearly splintered the arm of the couch. "She's always snapping and hissing at me!"

The couch was tsunami-wet from Lernie's binaural sobbing.

"Harry," Dr. Gottman began, "relational problems aren't monocausal—"

"Ask him why I look like this!" Lernie sibilated.

Harry's sword flashed out. Sizzling gore spattered.

Lernie shrieked. Writhed. Eventually began to chuckle. "Perfect example, darling," she said stereophonically.

"Ask her why I look like this." Harry lifted a gangrenous, puncture-pocked forearm.

Dr. Gottman closed his eyes. "Let's ... take a break."