Friday, February 19, 2010

The Truth Will Out

Okay, dear readers, time to put away your polygraphs and see just how well you were able to sound out my deception. Read on to discover the veracity of my "Creative Writer" Blogger Award claims ...

1) I was born at the racetrack because my pregnant mother went into labor as she climbed the stairs into the stands.
False. I was born in the hospital, not the racetrack. My mother only went into labor there -- ten weeks early.

2) An attempt to headbutt a goat as a child left me unconscious on the front lawn.
True. Pure gospel, in fact. I was playing on all fours in the front yard with Buttons, my hoofed and horned pet. For some reason, Buttons decided my five-year-old self was a threat and charged. I may be a bit hard-headed, but I was no match for him.

3) Stanley Kubrick (of Dr. Strangelove fame) and I attended the same college, although not at the same time.
False. Wes Craven attended my alma mater. Interestingly,
Elm Street is a few blocks from the college. Methinks it’s no coincidence.

4) I double majored in biology and literature, then went on to Johns Hopkins to get yet another undergraduate degree.
False. Alas, I am nowhere near as intelligent or accomplished as my wife.

5) I was immediately smitten when I first met my wife and dumped her close friend who I happened to be dating at the time.
False. I forgot her name three times. Have I mentioned that she’s an incredibly gracious woman?

6) There are no literary novels on The Middle Shelf.
False. But you’ll have to wait to see the title(s) in question!

7) I am not the least bit perplexed as to why no one has taken me up on a free copy of Genre Wars.
False. Free books, people! Where were ya? Free books!


Davin Malasarn said...

This was great! Sadly, yours is not the first animal headbutting story I've come across. And your wife sounds way cool!

Loren Eaton said...

Buttons had his horns trimmed, but the little leftover nubs still made (temporary) indentions in my forehead. May explain my love of genre fiction.

My wife is awesome. Truly a great woman. I have no idea why she settled for me.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I got thrown from a horse and landed on my head. No much fun. They didn't put helmets on kids back then.

Loren Eaton said...

Ouch! That's pretty darn serious. I grew up on a horse farm (which explains why my mom was at the track right before she had me), and every few years we'd have someone we knew killed out in the field. They're beautiful animals, but also wild and strong.

dolorah said...

The only one I was pretty sure was a lie was "born on the race track." Then again, sometimes the truth IS stranger than fiction.

I was really bummed when I came here - just after purchasing my copy of Genre Wars - and found I could get it for free. I'm always up for free books! But, perhaps people just wanted to donate to the cause.

This was very entertaining though. Thanks the giggles.


Loren Eaton said...

Thanks for your interest, Donna! Sorry you missed out on the giveaway, but I'm glad you promptly snapped up your own copy.

B. Nagel said...

I tagged you back in the thanks section.