tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post5199235131238551429..comments2024-02-05T10:41:31.777-05:00Comments on I Saw Lightning Fall: "The Weak Own a Might"Loren Eatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-44247303915934284412010-04-13T08:02:40.594-04:002010-04-13T08:02:40.594-04:00No, that one's on hold. (Although I did get th...No, that one's on hold. (Although I did get the "word" bit in there, didn't I?) Got an okay first draft done, and I'm just letting it mellow.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-16749268622620437732010-04-13T01:26:36.743-04:002010-04-13T01:26:36.743-04:00I didn't get the specific Biblical allusions, ...I didn't get the specific Biblical allusions, but I liked this one anyway. I thought you were trying to do something with that fantasy idea you'd been struggling with...Scattercathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00302815654553659644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-37748941161696656222010-04-12T20:29:42.080-04:002010-04-12T20:29:42.080-04:00Phil, have you ever read William Gibson's &quo...Phil, have you ever read William Gibson's "The Belonging Kind" in <i><a href="http://isawlightningfall.blogspot.com/2008/11/middle-shelf-selection-william-gibsons.html" rel="nofollow">Burning Chrome</a></i>? Your story idea reminds me a little bit of it. It also happens to be one of my favorite stories in the collection.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-28681329847767894542010-04-12T16:02:30.466-04:002010-04-12T16:02:30.466-04:00With the first sign, I thought Warren may have bee...With the first sign, I thought Warren may have been pursuing a vampire who owned the machine he used. Of course, I was confused with that thought a bit later, but when the bum said he fought at wherever, I looked that up and learned something of what was going on.<br /><br />This reminds of an idea I had sometime ago about a woman from a closed community going into the world for college. Her uncle goes with her to protect her, but she doesn't realize it, b/c the men in that community are all skin-changers. Of course, the woman gets into trouble, perhaps like your story, and her uncle has to take out of a few people. It's a bit silly, I guess, but I thought I'd tell you about it anyway.Phil Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08261840720705703731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-22185213637419468272010-04-12T15:25:37.917-04:002010-04-12T15:25:37.917-04:00Post Script: Also glad you enjoyed it!Post Script: Also glad you enjoyed it!Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-19423428259728301042010-04-12T15:21:28.928-04:002010-04-12T15:21:28.928-04:00(clear throat)
Not a Christ figure! Not a Christ ...<i>(clear throat)</i><br /><br />Not a Christ figure! Not a Christ figure!<br /><br /><i>(changes to indoor voice)</i><br /><br />Just wanted to, you know, make it clear that Jesus isn't zapping stalkers here. Although you seem to have gotten the rest of it, and the bum is (obviously) not just a bum.<br /><br />Glad this seems to be discomforting people a bit. That sorta was my goal.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-34298214588189308902010-04-12T14:34:19.078-04:002010-04-12T14:34:19.078-04:00Rather cool.
Personally (and I may be an outlier ...Rather cool.<br /><br />Personally (and I may be an outlier here), I loved the obscurity and wished the reveal weren't so obvious. I caught a whiff of the Christ-figure when the beggar was "writing something in the sand" (and the fact that he was pursuing a girl only made my reading more likely). With that in mind, the water-turned-red evoked the most memorable of the Egyptian plagues, and prepared me for the tenth plague with him taking on the role of the tenth son. <br /><br />I guess the obvious reveal just gave me the reaction of "aww...now I don't have to figure it out myself." Whereas if it were left hanging, I could've had the delightful lingering discomfort of figuring out the shape the dark shadows made, without the helpful aid of someone turning on the light switch.<br /><br />Also, "delightful lingering discomfort." What in the world makes people (myself included) enjoy these types of stories?!?Chestertonian Ramblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01550643992523840950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-49424044847092653892010-04-12T13:59:17.335-04:002010-04-12T13:59:17.335-04:00Yeah, it's a little too subtle, isn't it? ...Yeah, it's a little too subtle, isn't it? I wasn't quite sure how to strike the balance between "something odd is going on here" and "Warren is so mired in obsession he doesn't see it." The identity of the bum is a bit obscure, too, but if people Google "Kirjath Huzoth" and "Baalam," I think it'll come clear.<br /><br />Anyway, glad you liked it!Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-51884332919774717302010-04-12T13:23:07.514-04:002010-04-12T13:23:07.514-04:00OH! Water into blood! The first sign. I just under...OH! Water into blood! The first sign. I just understood it.Phil Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08261840720705703731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-52786386753223478612010-04-12T13:20:53.473-04:002010-04-12T13:20:53.473-04:00Mercy! What a story. That's good, Loren. Su...Mercy! What a story. That's good, Loren. Surely that could work with several others in a story collection.Phil Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08261840720705703731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-5150969955308339752010-04-12T09:00:25.813-04:002010-04-12T09:00:25.813-04:00Aerin,
The Queen returns! Gratzi! Is it a bad thi...Aerin,<br /><br />The Queen returns! Gratzi! Is it a bad thing that comprehending this short requires a seminary education, then?Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-20568804191301644672010-04-12T08:58:10.610-04:002010-04-12T08:58:10.610-04:00Davin,
Thank you! The response so far seems posit...Davin,<br /><br />Thank you! The response so far seems positive, even when folks didn't get the allusions, which pleases me. Always nice when a piece stands on its own two feet, no matter how tottery.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-47224361411573183932010-04-12T08:57:04.292-04:002010-04-12T08:57:04.292-04:00B.,
Yeah, you can satisfactorily turn that bit fr...B.,<br /><br />Yeah, you can satisfactorily turn that bit from the Last Supper in any number of ways. A few weeks ago, Nathaniel Lee was soliciting prompts for <i>Mirrorshards</i>. I provided the avenger of blood from the Mosaic law, an undefined individual(s) who's job it is to kill murderers. I rather like <a href="http://www.mirrorshards.org/2010/03/prompt-stalked-by-avenger-of-blood.html" rel="nofollow">what he did with it</a>.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-7390537022667143012010-04-12T00:14:03.779-04:002010-04-12T00:14:03.779-04:00Ah, you speak my language!! I am better suited ev...Ah, you speak my language!! I am better suited even than Nagel to figure this out, despite not paying the <i>best</i> of attention in Old Testament at seminary. Bravissimi!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-31821886574982950942010-04-11T17:23:01.117-04:002010-04-11T17:23:01.117-04:00I loved the prose style of this piece and the deta...I loved the prose style of this piece and the details too. It's very vivid and poetic. The signs, even though I didn't know all of the references, created a great effect for me.Davin Malasarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09385823575081492949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-49848225046428860472010-04-11T15:33:33.639-04:002010-04-11T15:33:33.639-04:00I'll second that about the Bible as fascinatin...I'll second that about the Bible as fascinating source material. One I'm toying with right now is this phrase: <a href="http://bible.logos.com/#q=&ref=Lk%2022%3A21%2Chi%3DLk%2022%3A21&ver=NRSV&tab=home&content=." rel="nofollow">"the one who betrays me is with me, and his hand is on the table</a>."B. Nagelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07620736939701035617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-148593077815018762010-04-11T11:59:31.235-04:002010-04-11T11:59:31.235-04:00Donna,
I don't know when the next one will be...Donna,<br /><br />I don't know when the next one will be! We started doing <a href="http://isawlightningfall.blogspot.com/2009/12/advent-ghosts-2009-stories.html" rel="nofollow">Advent Ghost stories</a> last year, and we'll likely do that again. We might have another in between if there seems to be demand for it.<br /><br />This may sound a little strange, but I think the Bible provides such great material for horror stories. The dismembering of the Levite's concubine, the disemboweling of Eglon by Ehud, the spirit who speaks to Eliphaz the Temanite "in disquieting thoughts from the visions of the night" -- fascinating stuff that no one seems to pay attention to.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-32351312264274594592010-04-11T11:47:47.350-04:002010-04-11T11:47:47.350-04:00Aidan,
That's actually more reassuring to me ...Aidan,<br /><br />That's actually more reassuring to me than you know. I had great trepidation as I pressed the "publish" button. Glad it worked even if the references didn't come through quite clearly.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-17061835907580811422010-04-10T23:12:09.914-04:002010-04-10T23:12:09.914-04:00Maybe I'm a sic-o; I didn't know what the ...Maybe I'm a sic-o; I didn't know what the references were exactly, but I figured them to be religeous. I thought them religious because I got the feeling this guy was having a psychotic break; a true serial killer stalker. I thought the bum, the red water, the six birds, all the things and people he was seeing/hearing a part of a schizophrenic episode.<br /><br />This really could have been combined with the murder scene blog fest.<br /><br />I was riveted the whole through the entire read; waiting for the next thing he would see, the next place he'd be. Wondering when he would finally catch up to her and if he would actually kill her there, or kidnap her for torture.<br /><br />I really loved this story. So completely creepy. You wrote it so well. Thanks for hosting this shared story fest. It has been great writing with you and all others who participated.<br /><br />So, when's the next one?<br /><br />.........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-39716603089517646512010-04-10T21:29:03.901-04:002010-04-10T21:29:03.901-04:00Loren, I like the creepy way that you drew Warren....Loren, I like the creepy way that you drew Warren. I liked this story even though I didn't know the references or guess the narrative structure. The story as a whole still made sense.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-34606582079119735552010-04-10T17:12:43.591-04:002010-04-10T17:12:43.591-04:00Oh, good! I was kind of trying to write in quasi-H...Oh, good! I was kind of trying to write in quasi-H.P. Lovecraft mode. He had a lot of private mythology going on in his stuff.<br /><br />I'm interested to see what I'm going to enter, too!Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-79088784748653431872010-04-10T16:37:10.527-04:002010-04-10T16:37:10.527-04:00That would explain why some of it made no sense at...That would explain why some of it made no sense at all, but I like that, in a way. Sometimes it's fun to just be swept up in the character and the prose. <br /><br />Ah, no horror for my contest, huh? Now I'm interested to see what you'll enter! Although I won't know until after the contest is over who entered what. Still, I suppose I can rule out any horror entries as yours. ;)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-69886268310000807262010-04-10T16:33:16.283-04:002010-04-10T16:33:16.283-04:00Michelle,
Glad you enjoyed it! I promise, though,...Michelle,<br /><br />Glad you enjoyed it! I promise, though, that my entry to <a href="http://theinnocentflower.blogspot.com/2010/03/lady-glams-short-story-contest.html" rel="nofollow">your short story contest</a> won't be horror. I need a genre break.<br /><br />I feel kind of mixed about this story. I think it may be too obscure. One kind of needs to get the allusions to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penuel" rel="nofollow">Peniel</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balaam" rel="nofollow">Kirjath Huzoth</a> to figure out what's going on. Doesn't hurt to know <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagues_of_Egypt" rel="nofollow">the narrative framework</a> either.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-14055691566613780912010-04-10T16:28:59.808-04:002010-04-10T16:28:59.808-04:00B.,
If there's anyone who could figure out wh...B.,<br /><br />If there's anyone who could figure out what's going on here, it's you. Also my college roommate, who is a semi-silent regular around here.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4025264318423694875.post-59784155597673352962010-04-10T14:56:51.136-04:002010-04-10T14:56:51.136-04:00Loren, this is amazing, truly. I was squinting the...Loren, this is amazing, truly. I was squinting the whole time trying to figure out what the heck you were doing. Your work disturbs me on many levels, and I like that for some reason. I enjoyed this a lot. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.com